


Run, Run Lost Boy

by De_Marvel_Bunny



Series: Whumptober 2019 [21]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Tony Stark, Canonical Character Death, Domestic Avengers, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Team as Family, Tony Angst, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Self-Esteem Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Whump, Tony Stark-centric, Whumptober, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 21:47:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21125756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/De_Marvel_Bunny/pseuds/De_Marvel_Bunny
Summary: All his life, Tony Stark has been running. Running from his father, from his fears, and from the world altogether.He's not sure he'll ever stop.OR,How Tony Stark finds something that's worth staying for.





	Run, Run Lost Boy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kcusllay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcusllay/gifts), [The_Sad_Fangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sad_Fangirl/gifts).

> Well, this fic just kind of dragged me along as it went. Not sure what it is, but oh well.
> 
> Légy erős means be strong in Hungarian.
> 
> The title is from Ruth B's song with the same name.

All his life, Tony Stark has been running.

The first time he ran, truly _ran_, that he could remember, he'd been terrified. His father's voice was echoing down the hall, angered yells calling after him. The little eight-year-old genius had run down the hall, tears streaming down his face. He tripped over his own feet more than once, but he didn't dare let it slow him down. He ran all the way to Jarvis' room, running into him and immediately clinging onto him. Jarvis hadn't asked any questions, just held the boy close as he cried, shaking in fear.

The second time he ran, he wasn't much older. He'd just turned nine years old, and his father had allowed him to work in the workshop with him. The little genius had been ecstatic. He imagined all the things they could build together as he skipped down to his father's workshop. It wasn't what he'd expected it to be. He was assigned tool-duty, handing and taking tools so his father could work. Howard asked him in a gruff voice what he needed, and if Tony didn't give it to him in time, he'd start yelling, calling him names Tony rather wouldn't hear. But sometimes the tools were hot, or sharp, and they'd dig into the boy's sensitive skin. Tony bit his lip to keep in his cries of pain, but at one point, he couldn't handle it anymore. He dropped the seering hot tool, a shriek of pain emitting from his throat. He ran away once he heard his father's angry roar, never once turning to look back and not slowing down until he found Jarvis again.

He'd run in several similar situations the next few years and they're not worth mentioning. But one that stands out, is when he was fourteen.

It was summer vacation, and Tony was excited to leave for MIT once it ended. Then Ana Jarvis, their cook and someone Tony loved very dearly, had fallen ill. Horribly ill. She was taken into the hospital and Tony sat at her bedside every day for two weeks. One day he came in and she'd squeezed his hand. "Légy erős," she'd said before her eyes closed and her heart stopped. Tony had gotten up numbly, walked out of the hospital, expressionless like a robot, ignoring everyone who passed him. And ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, no destination in mind. He ran until he couldn't, collapsing in a park he didn't recognize. That's where he stayed until hunger and fatigue got the better of him and he took a cab back home, ignoring everyone in the house like they ignored him, and locked himself in his room.

It wasn't much later, a few days, maybe, when it happened again. They were at Ana's funeral. He was dressed appropriately in a black suit, as was everyone else. He didn't look up from his feet once, tuning out the pastor who was talking like he'd known her. He hadn't. He was being paid to do this, he didn't care. Tony bit his lip, scowling down at his feet with burning eyes.

It was beautiful weather outside, the sun shining and the birds chirping. It wasn't supposed to be this beautiful, Tony thought as he looked from the tears streaming silently down Jarvis' face to the closed casket that was being lowered into the ground. It was supposed to be raining, storming, even. The world should be mourning. He numbly threw a handful of dirt over the casket before stepping back next to Jarvis. When it was Jarvis' turn, however, the man didn't move. Tony called out his name softly, pulling slightly on the man's sleeve. Then Jarvis collapsed. Moments later, he was dead. Dead, just like Ana. And again, Tony ran. He ran until he somehow ended up in the same park he had just a few days ago. He collapsed on his knees in the grass once again, sobs wracking his body. Jarvis and Ana, the two people who'd taken care of him all his life, were dead. He supposed he should be happy that they were together again. But now Tony had neither.

He ran a lot in the next few years, mostly from bullies, although that was nothing new. He quite enjoyed it, especially since he was faster than most of them. It was less fun when they caught him. The blows were bad, and he usually felt those for a few days. But it was the words that hurt the most, burning into him like the hot tools his father handed him, leaving behind big, ugly scars on his heart.

When he was sixteen, he ran away from home. His mother was depressed, his father was drunk, and Jarvis and Ana weren't there anymore. Aunt Peggy couldn't be there for him now that she was getting older, and Tony was lost. So, he packed a small bag and ran away to the one place he felt safe, the one place he felt _loved_. He ran away to the Rhodes' family, who opened the door wide once they saw him to let him in. Rhodey just held him when he cried and begged for them to keep him. Of course, he had to go back. But that didn't mean he didn't come running back to his best friend, even if it wasn't for forever. Rhodey was there for him to run to.

Tony ran a lot. He ran away from trouble he'd actively been seeking out, he ran away from trouble he _hadn't _actively been seeking out, and he ran away from the things that scared him. Like family. Family scared the shit out of him.

When he'd met Pepper Potts ("it's Virginia" "Not anymore, it's not"), he was scared to let her in. He could tell she was different in the way she didn't bow down to his will, actively going against him when she knew he was being stupid. So he ran away from her. Maybe not literally, but he closed himself off, avoided her whenever he could and was downright _rude_ to her to get her to leave. But she stayed, put up with his bullshit and even bothered to ask him if he was okay once the crushing realization came that she wasn't going to leave him, not like everyone else. So he let her in, and he stopped running.

He ran away from the Avengers, too.

He ran away to his workshop, using the excuse of upgrading their gear ("Saving lives isn't all about dumb courage, Cap") to get out of group activities. When he did happen to be in the same room as them, he put on his mask, insulted them or flirted to drive them away. At first, it did. Cap got irritated, angry even, resulting in more than one shouting match which ended up leaving Tony hauled up in his room or the workshop for days, wallowing in self-hate and drowning himself in his work (or alcohol if the first didn't seem to be enough).

I think at this point, you get the idea. Something happens, Tony runs. Someone gets too close to him, Tony runs. Even when nothing happens, when everything seems to go as okay as it can in Tony Stark's life, he runs. Because he knows that if he doesn't, the bad things will catch up to him.

It's the moment he _stops_ running that's worth mentioning.

Because although at first, the Captain seems to be endlessly irritated and disappointed in him, he started warming up to the eccentric billionaire. Their fights became less intense and further apart. Steve actively went out of his way to drag Tony into group activities, and slowly but surely, the seemingly untouchable man opened up. He stopped being rude or flirtatious and started showing them all a side of him not many people had the pleasure of seeing. He started settling down.

And, Tony realized, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe he was tired of running, of always looking over his shoulder. Maybe it was nice to have someone watch his back for once, to rely on others to help him out.

"Tony, you coming, man? We've been waiting for you and my popcorn's getting cold."

"For once, I agree with Clint. Get your ass over here!"

"Aw, Nat. I knew you cared!"

"I will literally cut you in half."

"Okay."

"Tony, you coming?" Tony looked up at Steve's voice, seeing the man smiling softly at him. Tony looked around the room, seeing the Avengers sprawled out over various pieces of furniture, chatting and playing around with each other. Tony couldn't help the smile from spreading over his face at the sight. It looked so domestic, like a dream he could wake up from any minute now.

"Yeah, I'm coming," he called back.

Maybe he'd been running long enough. It was time to stop running and start settling down. If this was indeed a dream, he wouldn't mind sleeping a little longer.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave sum comments and Kudos, they really make my day


End file.
